Gringa in Paradise: How I'm Treated Abroad as an American

Look, so pale!

Something that I have not been used to at all living in the U.S. is being stared at. It has been a very interesting adjustment to walk around or go in a restaurant and find half a dozen people observing me (sometimes gaping-mouth, hardcore staring) for apparently no other reason than the revelation that I'm white. It's a desperate feeling to find yourself singled out because of your skin color; here I have felt the urge to hide or avoid locals so nobody could see it. Honestly, it's an awful experience. But, the silver lining is that this immediately started changing my approach to my own increasingly heterogeneous society.

I don't really know what I was expecting as an American traveling abroad—you hear an awful lot of conflicting information. People hate Americans. People love Americans. People can't even tell if you're American. As often as people act like they haven't seen a white person before, I have not yet encountered anyone unable to tell that I'm American. Everyone follows approximately the same formula: light skin, light hair, and/or light eyes = turistas (tourists) = $$$. This is honestly true since tourism is 80% of Costa Rica's income. According to the Costa Rican Tourism Board's annual report in 2011, over 2.1 million people came to Costa Rica for tourism, of which over 39% were American. So, a lot of things are geared to attract Americans and their alleged money.

At almost every museum, national park, or attraction (e.g. bungee jumping), the price is substantially higher for foreigners. They don't verify whether you have a Costa Rican address, they just look at you and decide what to charge. When private buses that tourist groups usually take stop at a traffic light in a city, or when you walk around anywhere, someone will find you and try to sell you something. This can get irritating, but it's rather logical. If a painter sees many groups of tourists in a day and approaches them, if he's resilient enough he will surely sell at least one in each group, ultimately earning a large profit. The chapulines ("grasshoppers," because they swarm)—the gangs of child thieves that roam Costa Rican tourist destinations—take a different approach and just tackle a single person and swipe everything off them in a flurry of unavoidable hands. Sometimes it isn't even overt; it only takes seconds to pilfer a credit card, copy the info, and hand it back to you after you "dropped" it. See the note at the end for anti-theft tips.

However, it's important to note that only some people are after money. Pretty much everyone can tell that you're American, but sometimes people just want to chat and it is so cool to engage in and enjoy these conversations. I have been told and have seen that Costa Ricans really enjoy the art of smalltalk. In passing, Costa Ricans say "Buenas" to pretty much anybody at any time of day, instead of more specifically "Buenos dias" (good day), "buenas tardes" (good afternoon), or "buenas noches" (good evening). They will also say "adios" (goodbye) to passing strangers. Almost everyone is very friendly and helpful if you ask them a specific question. If you get into a full conversation, you'd be amazed what you can learn about the country you're in, or even what you should be doing this weekend.

Unfortunately, there is also the third kind of people: those who prefer glaring or yelling. We have had a few experiences with these people, mostly in the more urban areas. At lunch in a restaurant San Jose with open doorways facing the street, some teenage boys yelled an American obscenity at our group. Guys fairly frequently receive a "mean mug" from people, a nasty look. Girls also commonly receive unwanted attention in the form of cat-calls. Men will yell "Hey gringas!" (where gringa = foreign girl, usually white), make hissing noises when you pass, or just stare. I can't walk the ten minutes to school on a not-very-busy street without at least one man stopping to greet me and/or stare. I've never found myself wanting to punch an old man before arriving here, apparently staring is my trigger. All that is part of the machista mindset that is present in many Latin American nations, but it's pretty tough to respect and appreciate it as cultural!

In a foreign country, at first you aren't looked at as just you; you are looked at as an extension of your ethnicity. It's just psychology. The best thing you can do is be yourself and be considerate of those around you, don't even think about what stereotypes you are or aren't confirming. Overall, people definitely are more interested in being nice to you than not. There are some who just want money, and some who just don't like you. But if you have the patience to find the nice people, you will reap so many benefits.

To end: an anecdote to illustrate my point. Early on in this program, my boyfriend Hayden and I decided to walk around town for the afternoon. We found the local sports club/pool hall, and since we frequently play pool together at home we decided to give it a try. It was truly uncomfortable for a while. This was clearly an almost exclusively male haunt, and the small group of elderly men standing outside were pretending to not be looking in at us through the windows while we played. One of the men came and sat on a bench and silently watched while we felt even more out of place and tried to ignore him. Shortly after, he introduced himself and offered to teach us how to play how the Costa Ricans play billiards. Other men slowly trickled in to watch and give us advice, and before long we had spent over two hours in the pool hall chatting and learning new games. This was such a huge relief after feeling as if nobody wanted to have any meaningful interaction with us as Americans. Since then, we have gone back almost every week and know most of the regulars.

Notes

1. Tips to avoid theft anywhere.

• Don't walk late at night, especially alone or intoxicated. A rule of thumb they have told us here is that if there is nobody else walking around on that street, there's probably a reason that you shouldn't be either. Statistically, more crimes occur at night. If you're alone, you're a bigger target because you can't defend yourself as well and there are no witnesses. If you're intoxicated, you're more easily overpowered and less aware of your surroundings. If it's late or you will be alone/intoxicated, take a cab or public transit.
• Don't leave your stuff anywhere unattended. I know it's ok sometimes in the school library, or if you left your purse on the table in the mall food court it will most likely still be there a few minutes later, but don't do that. People literally see that you're American and will watch you to see if you set your things down, and for good reason. In your backpack at any given time, you will certainly have a cell phone and cash. You also probably have a digital camera, mp3 player, laptop, credit cards, passport, etc. Stolen electronics are so easy and lucrative to sell, and American passports are unbelievably valuable on the black market, so your backpack is definitely worth a thief's time.
• When traveling on public transport, keep your stuff with you at all times. Don't put it on the overhead bins like you can on an airplane, because it's so easy for a thief to grab it as they get off at a stop before you. Don't put it at your feet if you're going to fall asleep, put it on your lap. The only safe way to leave it out of sight is if a bus driver gives you a ticket to match to one for your bag when you leave, but that is a minority of cases.
• Don't keep things on your back. With a backpack or purse on your back you think you'd feel it if someone opened your bag, right? Wrong. In an internet cafe, put your stuff on your lap, not over the back of your chair. While walking (especially in cities), use a purse that you can wear across your chest, and wear a backpack by one strap and hold it against your side with one arm. It may be excessive in some scenarios, but your passport and laptop are definitely worth looking like a bit of a dweeb while walking around.
• If someone does attempt to take your stuff, consider it theirs. This one is especially difficult for guys to accept since thieves in cities are oftentimes children. But these children probably have a weapon, or are skilled enough to rob you without your realizing. An API student a few years ago here in Costa Rica was a big, buff guy, and a child thief told him to give up his wallet. He said no, and was shot twice and had his wallet stolen anyway. So, when deciding whether to give your stuff to a thief, just remember that you can replace your iPhone but you can't replace your life.